We have all heard it, but do we know what it means to “speak the truth in love.”
This phrase is a part of a list of things that are meant to be an exhortation from the risen Christ; specifically, his decision to give “apostles, prophets, evangelists, pastors, and teachers” to his church.
He did this, Paul explains, “to equip the saints for the work of ministry” (Eph. 4:12). And this, in turn, will “build up the body of Christ.” The goal is maturity so the body won’t be “carried around by every wind of doctrine.”
Instead, it will find itself “speaking the truth in love.”
This will happen. This is God’s plan. Paul’s original intent is to direct believers to embrace this responsibility and the results of what actually will happen when the body of Christ is functioning properly under Christ.
When we engage in “speaking the truth in love” what’s happens? What happens to us? What happens to our church? How can we encourage it in our church?
Ephesians 4:1 reads, “I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called.” So, “speaking the truth in love” is something that will happen, because Christ, the Lord of the church, has ordained that it be so—and it is something that must happen, because we are called to obedience to Christ’s purpose.
Paul isn’t actually drawing a contrast in this passage between “speaking the truth in love” vs. “speaking the truth with a bad temper”. It is between the cunning, crafty, and deceitful words of false teachers and the honest, straightforward, loving words Christians should speak to each other.
A few tips to help us engage in speaking the truth in love:
Tip 1. If these words must include some kind of rebuke, it helps if the rebuker already has a pattern of speaking other truths in love.
Tip 2. If you love someone, it will go a long way toward making your words of rebuke able to be received.
Tip 3. Be driven by love, not fear. If you love a fellow Christian, this will drive you to care more about the negative effects their sin has on them than the negative effects their poor reaction might have on you.
Tip 4. Check your life before checking another’s.
Tip 5. Love brings questions before it brings accusations. Love will cover a multitude of other little sins so that the focus can remain on what’s truly serious.
Tip 6. There is no promise of a favorable response.
Concluding Exhortation
“(S)peaking the truth in love” is an essential function that lupercates what goes on in church. This is true whether or not believers respond or not. In Ephesians 4:15 the teaching is, Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ. This mutual edification flows from the equipping ministry of faithful leaders, which itself, derives from the gracious gifts of Christ himself. Christ is the source, and he is the goal: “speaking the truth in love” is designed to lead to us “grow[ing] up in every way into him.”
Take this simple exhortation with you to church. Don’t forget it! It will encourage others from Christ and to Christ.